Grabbing life by the bawls.. How I learned to cry it out, live up to my name, and get it together in time to put a roast in the oven....

I'm currently putting myself through a 30 day cleanse.. Cutting sugar and salt and drinking obscene amounts of water. Sweating for 2 hours a day. Giving away all of the things that still live in the garage (If I've lived without them for this long, I likely can continue living without them..)
In addition, I've started teaching a Mommy and Me class twice a week.. which is exciting!
AND! I've been invited to be interviewed on a local morning show for my business!


EXCITING!


But as I start checking things off of life's to-do list, I develop this crushing feeling. As I rush through each day, I just chalk it up to my constant busy-ness.. 
But now I've had time to stop and think. 
The overwhelming feeling is that I'm almost done.
My list isn't that much longer and is comprised of things like.. get married. Have babies.. move to a sleepy coastal town just outside a bustling city and raise a family.
Not things to step on the gas pedal for.. things you hit coast and slow down. Look around. 


So I cry a little sometimes. Because my right now isn't.. much.. enough. You know?
I just feel like.. There's gotta be more to life...


So here's what I need to do.. find that THING. The thing I've been afraid to do. The thing I always wanted and didn't think I deserved. I'm going to cry.. but crying isn't giving up. It's taking fear out of your heart to make room for more strength.. 
I'm going to stop trying to figure out who I am. I'm BEING who I am. Who I always was. 


I've been a business woman.. worn suits and heels and makeup to work every day at 7am. Worked 60 and 70 hours a week and used phrases like 'Every dollar not spent goes straight to our bottom line' and 'Tell the coffee guy that if he brings me decaf again he's going to be #46 in the 100 worst ways to die'
It didn't suit me.
I've been the super perky manager of a gym.. bouncing from the front desk through cardio, cheering people on.. hopping back to the weight room to say hi to The Caveman (before he was a caveman and I was a ninja) 

I've been a hippie yoga instructor. 




I've been Marry Poppins.

I changed my job.. I changed my hair.

But then I figured it out...

I just needed to change my perspective =) =)  (those are 3 of my gorgeous sisters, by the way...)
I have EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING! Look at my family.. those girls in that picture? They love me. A lot.
I've got yoga.. and I LOVE it <3
I have my volunteer ventures.. I am so grateful that even tho I don't have all the things I feel like a socially acceptable person keeps in her closet, I have enough to give to people who truly DON'T have what they need. NEED. And who cares about socially acceptable?? 
I've got Juno on my shoulder and Sasha on my legs. And I've got my Happiness Ninja-ing (the duties of which I have still not revealed ;) )

I have a boy who lets me cook for him and beat him in boggle.

I have a few close friends I can call when it's cry time.. friends who will hold my hand until I get to where I am today.. remembering that life is mine to take. And I'm taking it..

So, for the record. My life is amazing. Sometimes, I cry.. but when the awesomeness is used up, it just leaves my body through my eyeballs =) 
I have to decide.. India, or Rome? Input. Please!!! I have decided that 2012 will be the year of Adventure!
I had given up on the idea after how terribly 2011 shaped up.. but I've decided that there are no more excuses. I'm going. 
In the mean time.. wanna see the roast I made the other night? It was delicioussss!!!!

Starts easy peasy with a nice Chuck roast... Pat it dry with some paper towels, Salt it up, and sear it on High heat in a skillet.


Chop up some Carrots, Onions, Garlic Cloves, Celery, Mushrooms, Potatoes if you wanna.... whatever you like! 

Place your beautifully seared beef on top of your veggies and throw some Bay Leaves on top.
You can deglaze the pan you seared in with white wine, beer, beef stock.. whatever you fancy (I'm watching my salt so I just used water) Once the pan is deglazed, add the liquid to your roasting pan with your veggies and beef. When you have about 1/2 inch of liquid in the bottom of your pan, throw your lid on and toss it in a 275 degree oven for 4 hours (ovens vary, yada yada..)


Try to leave it in the oven until it's done.. around the 2 hour mark it's going to smell so good you're going to be in some trouble.. TRY to wait!! You'll be glad you did =) =) =)