Simply Decadent; The art of being happy =) And yet another pizza my heart (part 2 of 3)

I was thinking the other day about some of the odd places my little life has taken me.
I thought of my treasured Givenchy sunglasses (which I lost at a yacht party in 2005)
I remembered how worried I was to sweat on them. I also remember the party itself.. the last of it's kind I ever plan to attend.
I remember being excruciatingly bored and a little grossed out at the middle aged men who were hitting on me. I remember wishing we were playing sand volleyball instead of drinking high volumes of alcohol and having to pretend I wasn't starrrving.. I wanted a hot dog and to jump off the yacht to swim (Not allowed in my ludicrously expensive swimsuit, nor by the silly standard that had been set by the other *painnnfully thin* ladies of the party) I wanted to fish!
And then one of the waiters said something funny and I signed my high society death warrant.. by laughing.


That was when I came up with my little theory about class and happiness... 
But first, let's do a little visual product comparison, shall we?

This is an ad for David's Bridal.. one of their $99 dress sale advertisements.


When I look at this picture I think... this girl is pretty happy to be getting married!


She's joyful.


Glowing...

This lovely lady is wearing Monique Lhullier.




She looks... bored.
And maybe a little afraid of the dress itself, if not what it represents.




Shall we try another?

Cute panties, lady!


And cute smile....


Those are undies you can do cartwheels in.. you can wear under your clothes while you play sports or workout.


Those are skivvies you can laugh in =) =) =)










It would seem there is something desirable about looking morbidly uncomfortable.


She's not gonna sleep in that, you realize?


She can't.. she's too busy glaring at you.




Hm.


Let's try again.










Clinique Happy 


You know you're smiling =)




























Noticing a trend?






So from this, we are to surmise that the ultimate status symbol is a grimace.
Class is to be equated with boredom and misery and if you're smiling, you belong in the $99 dress sale with exhibit A.
And me...


Which sent me on a memory scavenger hunt. All of the times my ridiculous grin betrays my status. All of the moments that make yachts and Roberto Cavali seem cheap and contrived.


So here they are... my top 5 favorite nights. Ever. And always. The way I will spend my time no matter how much money I do or do not have.


5. Sipping on one of The Caveman's famous Chocolate Cherry martinis while we watch the sun set on our deck.. SashaDog and Juno playing in the yard and our summer station playing on Pandora.


4. Laying in bed all night watching movies, wrapped up in the one I love, a bottle of New Age on the nightstand and some takeout sushi close at hand.


3. The utter decadence of having chinese delivered to our home.. to likely be eaten with our hands. If I'm making someone else cook for me, there's no way I'm doing dishes ;)


2. Hanging out with Smalls or one of my nieces, mud masks cracking our faces into the ancient versions of ourselves as we paint toenails and sing along to the radio... loudly...


1. Sitting in a bubble bath having my love read to me. I like it most when he uses the voices or accidentally acts things out with his hands... =) 


And this is who I will be. No matter what... I'll never be a rich person.
A 6 figure salary couldn't change the fact that I know who I want to spend my time with.. and it's not someone twice my age and triple my gross income.
It's my family. It's my love. It's Sasha and Juno.. 
I AM Clinique Happy.
I hope you are too =) =) =)




Recipe time? Ok.. I guess so =)


Paleo Pizza! ~The Sequel~


BBQ Chicken Pizza... Nommmmm~


So you guys remember when The Caveman and I made Pizza a little while back, yeah?
Well.. not everyone is ok with a crust made entirely of cheese. No really! Some people have a problem with that!
So we present you with this alternative.... 
Cauliflower crust!


You will need: 
1 medium-large head of Cauliflower
1 large egg
1 cup of finely shredded Mozzarella (or your favorite cheese... it'll work, trust!)
Oregano
Garlic powder
Onion powder 


You can either microwave or steam your cauliflower until tender. Drain well! This is hugely important... leave it set in your colander in the sink for however long you like.
When as much water as possible has been drained out, throw your cauliflower into a food processor. Remove from your processor. Line a kitchen towel with paper towels and press cauliflower in towels until as much moisture as possible has been removed.
Return to your food processor and add cheese and seasonings. Press into a parchment paper lined pizza pan.
Broil on high until your crust is browned on top, then remove and CAREFULLY flip. Broil until the other side is crisp and top with your favorite pizza fixins ;)

We went with BBQ chicken... Abe makes his own BBQ sauce and if you're extra good, maybe one day you'll get the recipe for that, too ;)

Throw it back into the oven at 400 degrees and enjoy =)


Now that... is decadence <3

AbraBaconPalooza!!! A celebration of Life, Love, And Bacon. Which is also love...

I'm not going to BEGIN to get all poetic and anecdotal on you with today's post.


You know what happened this weekend.
If you weren't there, you surely heard about it.
And if you weren't there... what the heck???? Where were you that was more important than AbraBaconPalooza?????
This is the third time we have palooza'ed the salty staple and might be our most successful foray into the world of meat-themed celebrations.. but that won't stop us from trying to top it!


So let's get right to the meat of the thing, eh?
Heh. 
Meat. 

So you know this guy by now, yeah?
Sir Abrabacon, The Caveman roommate..


This is his friend Babe-Rabacon.
I won't tell you how we discovered this, but there was candy in his belly ;)
He was a birthday gift from one of our Paloozaers =) =) =)
This weekend was a celebration of The Caveman's existence in our lives. Turns out, there are an awful lot of people who are glad he was born! 
I'm not even the slightest bit surprised...




So to celebrate such a specimen of masculinity, a contest.
Who can bring the most creative and delicious bacon dish???


Creative points will probably have to go to our friend Fury.... Who invented for our purposes Bacon 7up!
Now.. the man was not brave enough to try it himself.. or even bring it himself. For fear of it's possible chromosome-altering powers, he sent it ahead with 2 professional fighters to guard the world from it's possible evils.
We later bet the entire group $20 that nobody would drink it.
Because of this, I cannot tell you how it ranked in the delicious category ;)
Someone WAS brave enough to take a shot.. but nobody ever heard from him again!
(but that's probably just because he doesn't have facebook and it was only a day and a half ago..)




Moving on to the appetizer round, I started our guests off with baked mushrooms stuffed with crab, bacon, peppers, celery, onion, and topped with parmesan.

I'd love to post a picture for you of how beautifully they turned out.. Alas, they did not exist long enough for my camera to fire up. I DO have one picture, but it's a blurry hand doing away with the last of the stuffed fungus.


I also had some potato soup with bacon crumbles as a belly warmer-upper.. easy enough to make, but every family has their secret recipe ;)


Another EASY and ridiculously addictive addition was our chocolate bacon fondue... 


1 Bag of Chocolate Chips (any kind will do.. I think we used milk chocolate this time. Dark chocolate last)
About 4 oz of some cream based thinning agent (I've used chocolate liquor, Baileys, or half and half)
Bacon.

Trala!!!

Set up a double boiler (or a saucepan on medium heat if you have time to babysit it) melt your chocolate, stirring frequently. Add your cream very slowly or your chocolate will seize. If this happens, add the smallest bit of honey... it should set things right again =)Pour into a fondue pot and dip EVERYTHING into it.. cept your friends. They do not gusta. Trust.


Sticking with the dessert-theme, I decided to revisit my banana bread recipe.. making them into muffins.
When they were cooled, I took some bacon fat (we had a lot laying around ;) ) and some pure maple syrup, mixing them about 50/50 in a bowl.
First, I rolled just the top in the sticky, salty concoction.. but it was quickly decided that these muffins needed injected. I used my turkey baster to make them maple-bacon filled banana bread muffins.
My life will never be the same...

So.
This is an empty tray...
It's the closest I could come to the
Maple-Bacon Banana Bread Muffins.

And the final dessert I made was a Paleo Apple crisp with a bacon lattice...


5 or 6 medium apples (I used Braeburn)
1 1/4 cup almond flour
4 tbsp butter
2 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 cup local honey
Cinnamon
Nutmeg
Clove
fresh ginger (optional)
6-9 strips of bacon


Preheat oven to 350 and butter the bottom of your baking dish.
Peel, core, and slice apples. You may choose to season them now in addition to seasoning the crumble mixture, but it is not necessary. Arrange them to your liking on the bottom of your dish and drizzle with lemon juice for added tartness and to prevent oxidization. You want them to be as even as possible, so slicing them on a mandolin and placing them one layer at a time is optimal!


In a separate bowl, mix your topping ingredients. Crumble and spread over the top of your apples. Cover with foil and bake about 30 minutes.
While this is baking, pre-cook 6-9 strips of bacon in a skillet or on a separate baking rack. Only cook them about 3/4 of the way to your satisfactory crispness.

Allow your bacon to cool enough to handle and remove your apple crisp from the oven.

Carefully (Without burning yourself, for instance) weave your bacon over the top of your crisp and return to the oven for another 10-15 minutes.

Bacon Jalapeno Poppers
















                         




                                              Spinach artichoke with bacon
                                  (These leftovers ended up in my eggs Sunday)   








Bacon vodka bloody mary martinis, Bacon bourbon Old Fashioneds, Seasoned plantains fried in bacon fat, bacon scallion dip, Bacon frittata, parmesan crisps with crumbled bacon, bacon wrapped dates, candied bacon wrapped little smokies, bacon chili!!!!!!!!!


My mind reels at the cleverness of our friends and the versatility of a salty strip of swine...


So I close this lengthy post with a simple Thank you.
Thank you to our friends for making this night a delicious, silly success.
Thank you to everyone who stopped to tell The Caveman happy birthday.
And thank you to Abrabacon.. without whom this post, that party, and our life together would not be possible.


On behalf of all Happiness Ninjas, We love you! Happy Birthday <3