Namaste!
Yoga Teacher Training
To set the scene... Cold yoga studio which has been shut down for the weekend to accommodate our group. This means the heat has been shut off.
It's December in Nebraska.
After 3 days, each of which contained about 10 hours of solid asana in a building without a water fountain, my body barely worked.
The Caveman Roomie welcomed me home each of those nights with a recovery drink and dinner. One night (as the story goes.. I have to take his word for it) I passed out on the living room floor while he was in the bathroom running me a very hot bath in our whirlpool.
This weekend left me sore, exhausted, and with a good pocketful of new friends who were all on a similar path. We wanted to bring this beautiful practice to as many people as possible. We wanted to know EVERYTHING about it so we could be as effective as we are caring.
I met Gary*. He was a middle school social studies teacher and wanted to open a studio in the next couple of years. We shared a pepperoni pizza after class one night to talk about what yoga means to us. He was trying to stave off the effects of arthritis. The low impact was so easy on his joints and made him feel strong enough to fight off the symptoms.
I met Julie*. She worked in the floral department of a local grocery store.
Single Mom with 3 kids.. we chatted over a glass of wine about the autism spectrum and how over medicated kids are these days. She ordered a giant brownie with whipped cream and licked her fingers of the chocolate syrup explaining how it was the first time since her oldest son was born that she had been granted more than just a bite of anything so sweet without little fingers snatching it away.
I liked Gary and Julie.. They were so down to earth in this strangely competitive, often judgemental field.
Probably just because like me, they were newbies.
We hadn't been entrenched in the local culture or subjected to the glares of the hard core yogi yet. YET.
Fast forward one year.
I'm practically dancing into another yoga teacher weekend which I had saved for 4 months to afford.
My belly fills with butterflies as I spot Julie and Gary in a crowd of people I don't yet know.
I skip (sorry.. I do that sometimes) over to their group and greet them.
They turn slowly and with a tilt of her head Julie holds her hands in Namaste.
"Hello! As we meet again, let me introduce myself! My name is Jagat Priya... it means Justifier."
Gary bows deeply at me and speaks so slowly I wonder if he's been told that this is in fact a weekend for recent psych ward patients...
"I am Tree. My heart is glad to see you old friend! What is your name?"
......
...........
Uhm.
My name is... Sara... still.
"No no no, my sweet friend... what is your Spirit name?"
I look around to see if my spirit is standing nearby and hopefully wearing a name tag.
Foiled, I respond... Did I forget to grab the packet assigning.. uhm. Spirit names?
They look at me like I'm the most adorable child of all time.
Later, I ask them to grab a coffee with me on our break.
They both opt for herbal tea and stare a me in horror as I add dairy creamer to my fully caffeinated steaming cup of consumerism.
A 45 minute lecture ensues during which I'm told in graphic detail what I'm doing to my body and the environment. I walked in proud of myself for remembering to pack my own bph free coffee thermos, but I guess I just spat in the rainforest's face.. as well as a dozen or so migrant workers. Sorry guys! =(
The two took regular sidebars to congratulate one another on their strict veganism and use of Sanskrit.
As we walked back to the studio to continue day one of what looked to be 3 very trying days, the two agreed they would dedicate today's practice to me in hopes that my spirit would reveal and name itself.
Sigh.
I was hoping to deepen my practice.. but this was.. well. Douchey. (sorry Schmom)
As we exhaled deeper into this posture, extended into that posture, and floooaaated into yet another arm balance, I was flooded with a strong, undefined emotion.
Was I embarrassed that my spiritual practice didn't include changing my name and voice? Did this mean it wasn't legit? Was I indignant that they disagreed with my belief that ahimsa's true meaning wasn't 'don't eat meat'? Did I feel like I was failing yoga?
As I lay in Savasana (Which is Sanskrit for 'try not to fall asleep' pose) I let my mind really chew on those thoughts.
We sat and breathed again in unison... clarity rose up from somewhere deep in my belly.
We all bowed in Namaste and rolled our mats.
Jagat Priya and Tree made their way to me.. glowing.
'Did you find your truth, Sister Sara?'
I bowed deeply, grateful for them and the truth their energy helped me locate within my own spirit.
"Namaste!" came a softened voice from my lips. "I am Yoni"
They praised the divine within me and asked me to join them for dinner.
The next 2 days passed, filling my heart with absolute beauty. I learned so much and grew more and more excited to bring these lessons to my students..
On our last day, Tree approached and told me how inspired he was by the truths I spoke during our Bahkti discussion. He praised my insight into the changes breath can cause in a relationship.
"Yoni, I was hoping we could talk about opening a studio together when we get back from the retreat? I feel like I've found a real friend in you. A soul mate.."
I smiled.
Sure, Gary.. but you're gonna have to stop calling me vagina.
He sputtered.
It's only the most well known word in the Sanskrit language.. on every page of the Kama Sutra... Vulva.
You've been calling me Vulva.
After a few moments, he finally laughed.
It was like watching someone wake up from a daydream.
Gary and I left. We got a pepperoni pizza and laughed.. realizing that the real path is happiness.
Teaching those who NEED asana is my happiness.
*shrug*
I'm not going to be everyone's favorite yogi. I'm not a razor-thin vegan with a voice like velvet. I won't always use the Sanskrit terms for each posture.
But I teach the yoga of joy. Health. Truth, I suppose....
Don't get me wrong.. I have deep respect for yoga. For all 7 limbs and anyone who wants to call themselves The Justifier (How could you NOT respect that???) There is so much to be gained by learning the root of Asana and LIVING yoga.
But you can enjoy a deep, fulfilling practice without being a judgemental jerk.
And with that, The Divine in me bows to the Divine in you. Love you guys!
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