This is a nearly constant scenario since I've announced my pregnancy. Increasingly frequent reminders that my cravings for hot chocolate with a 6 inch whipped cream cap and half a dozen chocolate dipped and chipped cookies are my baby's way of telling me how to make him happy.
I'm a terrible mother already for giving this child blueberries when he wants rice crispie treats dipped in molten chocolate and rolled in graham cracker crumbs. He's telling me what he NEEDS.
My baby has a very severe Potato Ole deficiency.
However.. the baby needs to start to understand something.. and hopefully all of the helpful advisors out there will read this and better understand my stance on the matter...
I don't blame my little half pound, half gestated womb-renter for my sudden urges to throw all of my nutritional knowledge to the wind. I'm going to gain a lot of weight anyway, why not do so deliciously?
See. This kid has the IQ of a negative 4 month old.
Well.. this is sure to be a very advanced member of the species.. so maybe the IQ of a negative 2 month old ;)
All the same. I'm pretty sure I'm in a better place to decide what he or she should and shouldn't be eating.
After all, when BamBam is 4 and wants to leave the broccoli on his plate and eat a piece of cake instead, I'm going to overrule. Why shouldn't I do so when I'm actually in control of what he eats?? I'll spend the rest of my life wishing I could make him like brussel sprouts...
I want to give this perfect little human every chance at being his healthiest, strongest, smartest self. I'm not going to accomplish this by feeding him all of the deep fried foods covered in Nacho cheese he seems to covet so strongly...
Also.
Pretty sure it's me craving it, anyway.
So I try to re-interpret these cravings.
Wants: Potato Chips
Gets: Root Veggie chips in TallowWants: Cake
Gets: A bowl of mixed berries in heavy cream
Wants: Boursin with butter crackers
Gets: Boursin slathered potato pancakes
Wants: Nachos. All of the Nachos.
Gets: Boursin slathered potato pancakes
Wants: Nachos. All of the Nachos.
Gets: Cottage cheese with green olives
Wants: An oatmeal cookie with a glass of chocolate milk
Gets: An oatmeal cookie with a glass of chocolate milk
Cuz.. well. Hush.
And when what THE BABY wants... or rather, when what his pregnant cavewoman wants is pancakes, Sir Abrabacon does the following:
Mixes
8 whole eggs
1tsp cinnamon
and 3 scoops of Vanilla Whey Protein Powder (you may need more, so keep it close)
Continue adding powder until you've reached pancake batter consistency. Heat a skillet until a drop of water beads up and then butta yo pannnn!
Cook em up pancake style. I should have to 'splain that part, silly ;)
And then top with your favorite pancakey goodness!
I used heavy whipping cream (actual cream, not the stuff in the freezer) and berries <3
Mmmmmmm =)